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Parenting Advice: How to Unravel Fact From Fiction

Parenting Advice: How to Unravel Fact From Fiction

Parenting Advice: How to unravel Fact from Fiction

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As a new mother, from the time you announce your pregnancy, you will get a lot of unsolicited and often unwanted advice.

Complete strangers will come up to and give you’re their opinions on what you should feed your baby, or how you should be disciplining them.  Your mother in law will look at you disapprovingly while telling you that all her children were sleeping through the night by the time they were one month old.  (I still say this is a myth.) Your grandmother will tell you that a teaspoon of whiskey cured all of her children’s teething issues.

When you are at the receiving end of all this advice, how do you sort out the good advice from the not so good advice?

It’s not always easy.  But here are a few good places to start.

The first step would be to consider the type of parenting style that person uses.  If your best friend is the best mother you know, and she has substantially more experience than you, her advice may be helpful.  If, on the other hand,  your neighbor only has fur babies, her advice might be the type that you take with a grain of salt.  You see where I am going with this.

As the end of the day, the only good advice is something you feel comfortable implementing on your children.  Every child is different, and so, there is no one size fits all solution.  Sometimes receiving an array of different points of view or ideas can be beneficial.  But it is necessary to do your own research, and determine which advice you want to follow.

Another good place to go for advice is your pediatrician.  When I was a first-time mom I think I called my pediatrician’s office at least twice a week asking for some sort of advice.  Thank goodness, they never treated me as though I was crazy, even if they may have thought it.  Your pediatrician can help you with all kinds of questions, and give you reassurance, which most of the time, is all that you need.

Another great source for parenting advice is baby books.  Most of the most common parenting questions are answered in these books and can be referenced whenever they are needed.  Again, you may want to make sure that the author’s parenting style is somewhat aligned with yours.

The most important piece of advice you are ever going to receive is Trust Your Instincts.  Even if you are a first-time parent, you know what is best for your child and your family.

A little unsolicited advice, although sometimes a pain in the ass, can sometimes be helpful.  But the most important thing is to have faith in yourself.

What do you say when you receive unwanted, unsolicited parenting advice?

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13 Comments

  1. maayan

    I thought this happened only in my local “nosy” community, fascinating how this is a cross cultural phenomenon

    Reply
    • Karrie

      It is definitely a cross-cultural phenomenon.

      Reply
  2. Brandi

    Great advice! I too experienced this and agree that you have to look at parenting styles and what you feel comfortable with. Research everything because every child is different.

    Reply
    • Karrie

      It’s amazing how much unsolicited advice we receive. It’s hard not to become overwhelmed. Thank you for your comment.

      Reply
  3. Sarra

    Ugh, yesssss!! I received so much unwanted advice when I was pregnant, and also heard a little of unwelcome opinions that were almost offensive. Some things you just shouldn’t say to other moms!

    Reply
    • Karrie

      It’s crazy some of the things that people think is “acceptable” to say to someone.

      Reply
  4. Kimberly

    Perfectly said! I hate when people bud in my business, especially when it comes to my kids. I usually just kindly say thanks but no thanks and keep it moving. It still irritates every fabric of my being though!

    Reply
    • Karrie

      Everyone thinks they are an expert in raising YOUR child. That’s great advice.

      Reply
  5. Nicole - Tales from Mamaville

    I agree, most advice we receive is unwanted. A mother knows her child best, and should trust her gut instinct. Of course take in the advice (if it makes sense) but do what YOU feel is right for YOUR child.

    Reply
    • Karrie

      Couldn’t agree more!

      Reply
  6. April Kitchens

    Great tips. Parenting advice is great from books. I also get advice from parenting groups that align with my parenting style.

    Reply
    • Karrie

      Yes! Having a tribe is a lifesaver!

      Reply
  7. Angel Coleman

    I get this occasionally but, I don’t have much family, and most of my friends are just as new as me when it comes to motherhood. Advice in a negative context I don’t consider but I will consider genuine good advice.

    Reply

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